Who else loves waking up to a bowl of ice cream or a whole bar of chocolate? Such heavenly treats are for Queens and some people sure deserve it and some wouldn’t let anyone take care of them. Someone asked me if I’m perverse to good things and I was stunned. It got me thinking about all my past relationships. They were not actually that bad in fact I am still friends with some and those that I can’t stand, I don’t talk to. I realized it’s because I’m scared of them leaving me for someone better, some one more educated, pretty, sexy, fabulous and stylish and so it was easier for me to walk away than face that fear.
We know everybody is beautiful because we were created in God’s image but some people were created the day God was resting. Every Time I see a beautiful woman I think about how good she must feel about herself. This is because she has what others strive and spend years yearning for.
A hot woman has the most important physical quality human beings seek for in a mate and so I Feel like she can relax and enjoy her good fortune. How can such person be sad?. Truth is our twisted society has created the ultimate trap, “The prettier you are the prettier you can be”. But in reality when a woman looks at herself in the mirror she doesn’t see everything you see but everything she’s not. It’s a constant case of “the more you get the more you lose”.
This got me questioning why pretty women feel insecure. Why is she miserable? Whenever she gains compliment she’s insecure?! I realized when you put a woman on a stool she gets tired and fall off (the pedestal complex). Once people judge you based on your looks it becomes the most scrutinizing quality you have. She thinks she’s pretty but not as pretty as the other woman, she’s hot but not as hot as the other woman. It becomes a competition rather than a camaraderie. We’ve made one type of pretty better than the other when in reality pretty is just pretty. She becomes paranoid because of the fear of what happens when she’s not pretty anymore.
Most times some are insecure because of the physical, emotional or sexual abuse they’ve had and so beauty to them is a curse rather than a blessing. They therefore have feelings of being ugly, useless, imperfect and unworthy. When some girls see you talking to some pretty girl they shred themselves apart until there’s nothing left. It’s now your duty as her “Prince Charming” to save her from the “fire breathing dragon” (insecurities) by telling her how beautiful she is until she believes you!
So whenever you start feeling insecure you could:
1. STOP FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVES: there’s no such thing as perfect, whatever is perfect now will surely become imperfect soon. Imperfection is however real and beautiful. Insecure people constantly look for signs of what’s not good about them, instead focus on the good part and appreciate it. Leave your comfort zone and do what you’ve not done in years. You don’t know how many people want to be you!.
2. STOP READING MINDS: bad communication ends relationship faster than cheating does and so stop assuming things, nobody has that super power yet. When you assume you know what someone is thinking about you and how you look, it speeds up the feelings of insecurities and stress.
3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: for every bad attribute you have, find two beautiful traits and remind yourself about how good they are whenever you look at the mirror. Have a good personal hygiene because you really can’t respect yourself if you are dirt. Smell good and look good. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have a boyfriend yet, surround yourself with good thoughts and love yourself.
4. DON’T INVENT FAULTS THAT DON’T EXIST: thinking you have a problem and believing in it leads to self sabotage. Don’t amuse yourself with anxious predictions and negative thinking and ultimately live in a state of hallucinations about the worst case scenarios. If you doubt yourself, you undermine yourself worth.
5. STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT: nobody spends their entire life hopelessly seeking the right body, this will drive you mad and make you feel insecure, it takes self love and contentment to realize your own imperfections and it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections and unsolvable flaws will you finally get what you’re looking for.
By Jennifer Yohanna