Right now I don’t know how much more attention I can take, I’m having the time of my life In Osun state. The orientations on camp just got better thank you very much and I must say I’ve never had so much attention in my life. It’s like everyone loves my energy and am the center of attraction, you won’t believe even girls are collecting my number for whatever reason I don’t know.
Nobody loves Idris Alba like I do. As they say fine wine is sweeter with age. Suffice to say I’m tripping and drooling and where i come from it’s not a federal offense to drool. One time in my life I felt like wanting someone like Idris the sexy Alba is just a fantasy for someone like me. If you see me behind your phones or computer back then you’ll understand why. it’s like someone as fat as me shouldn’t aim for someone like him because society called me fat and it took time for me to finally love my size. In fact to build my confidence I had to remind myself everyday that I was like Nicki even though I know I’m her thicker version with sun kissed Eye Popping melanin.
I love thick women, Maybe because all the people I love are considered thick. Growing up in a society where only being skinny is considered healthy I’ve had my fair share of body shaming. when I hit puberty at 16 I was already called fat even though I didn’t necessarily think I was fat. As my once so tiny hips broadened to about 42inches when I hit puberty, I began to think I wasn’t skinny enough and It became a struggle for me to loose weight and my self esteem started deteriorating slowly. I surfed the Internet endlessly for prescriptions on weight loss but the few ones I tried never worked. I became depressed, I withdrew from everyone because I felt different and I tried to portray myself as confident and strong when in reality I was a mess inside.
I was like this until I started listening to Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé. These women helped me a lot. They represent everything I wanted to be; successful, beautiful, hardworking, happy and passionate. They told me to love myself and hopelessly in love I fell. By constantly telling myself how beautiful I was and how someone somewhere wants to be like me and have my type of body, how I’m worth it and how I deserve good things too I changed my attitude to my body and people changed their negative comments to positive remarks and they saw me as a smart young and ambitious lady instead.
I realized It doesn’t matter if you are still having your natural body or you wish you could get one from cosmetic surgery. The only thing we care about is how much of that body you love and that’s how you grow your confidence by first loving yourself. Once I was trying a dress in a store and the fit was awesome as I formed a perfect figure 8 in the mirror, the girls there made me a topic of discussion and they wouldn’t stop talking about how they wished their small waist and ass big as mine. I started smiling because I know I’ll never disappoint Drake.
Truth is You don’t need too much to be confident, as long as you pay your bills, eat and dress well, know that people around you know you love them and they love you too, have a job and don’t depend on anyone emotionally and physically and because I know some girl somewhere felt like me once, I decided to write tips that helped me during my dark times because even though they say weight is just a number and what matters is how much you love yourself, I dare to say it’s not easy to love yourself if you don’t see something to love about yourself.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS: there’s no specific type of body and you’re not supposed to look like someone else. Your perspectives, gifts and values are exclusively yours, you are a unique expression, marvel in it. If you ever need to compare yourself to something then it should be on how better you are today than you were yesterday.
COMPLIMENT OTHER PEOPLE: when we think negatively about ourselves we tend to project that feeling to others inform of insults and hate. In order to break that cycle of negativity praise them instead, refuse to gossip, back bite and make an effort to compliment those around you. Whilst doing this you’ll discover you’ve built your confidence and you’ll become likable, because by looking for the best in others they’ll indirectly bring out the best in you.
DO SOMETHING YOU ARE GOOD AT: think of something you’re especially good at because regularly doing something you are good at reinforces your belief in your ability and strengths.
ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS GRACEFULLY : don’t just roll your eyes and say “Yeah, Right”, or shrug it off. Respond positively (a thank you and a smile works well!) and make sure the people you truly love know how you feel about yourself. Show them how good you feel about yourself and always have a positive energy.
TELL YOURSELF THE TRUTH ALWAYS : if there’s something you don’t like, admit it we cannot be perfectly happy with everything about ourselves. Being honest with yourself without being cruel can help.
WEAR WHAT EVER MAKES YOU FEEL AMAZING : stop worrying if you’ll look good in a dress because your fat arms will show in it or if it was too tight or body hugging. Am not saying you should dress shabbily or indecently but don’t shy away from good clothes because you are scared they’ll never fit you. Honestly am over that, I wear what I want and all I care about is how I feel in it. If I feel fabulous then I don’t care what others think! I hate when people think that because we are fat we shouldn’t wear bikinis, short skirts, shorts or body cons. I mean, if I feel amazing in it that’s good enough.
By Jennifer yohanna